Thanksgiving and Christmas season is upon us and I figured I'd say a prayer of thanks. I'm thankful that Jessica is alive, even if she isn't with me. I'm still a little sketchy about what really happened, but I'm alive and Frank's dead and all's right with the world.
I'm thankful Eric was too young to understand what a monster I really was otherwise I would have died in that concrete prison. But in his eyes, I saved his mother, so he saved me, healed me with some serious mojo that I'm still carrying around today. I can feel it in my bones, flowing through my veins like white lightning.
I'm thankful I'm not rotting in some prison awaiting a death sentence. If there were any justice in this world, that's where I'd be, but for some reason, the cops believed the ruse that I am indeed Christopher Aris and I had no knowledge of what my brothers were doing. Thank God I was able to erase any proof of Chris's participation before I got out of there. Now, I'm just waiting for that fiction to crumble.
I'm thankful that everyone loved my brother enough for him to be named in all their wills. When I took on his identity, I didn't imagine I'd be a richer than God. My first act when the money was free and clear was to make sure the victim's families were compensated, including Jessica and Tom. I know money can't erase my conscience, but it certainly helps me to think I'm trying to make amends for all the horror.
I'm thankful I kept the tapes of Jessica and I because without them, I wouldn't have lasted five years away from her. I would have sought her out before she had the chance to marry Tom. I would have begged for her forgiveness and I would have done something I would live to regret.
You see, I just want her to be happy. I'd like to believe I'm the one that can make her happy - but I know that's just a ludicruous fantasy. Unfortunately, I now have to break my silence, because if I don't she will be devistated.
So please God, please don't let this be a mistake.
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